"it" just moved
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
