Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
