I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
