Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
