Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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