Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
