I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
