but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
