dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We're not piercing ourselves today.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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