just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
