It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
