I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
