What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
