how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
