TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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