All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
