our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
this is an emotional support booty call
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
