she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
