bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
