It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
