escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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