i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize