There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
