I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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