I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
