3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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