it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
