You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
