you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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