He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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