p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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