He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
