Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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