the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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