And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
