Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
