We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
