I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
