the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
