oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
