she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
