you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
