so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
handjob tips. give me some.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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