You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
