My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
