Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
