I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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