I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
