I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize