If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
