New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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