she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
