I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
