the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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