Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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