i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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