Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
