So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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