Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
