Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
