clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
