I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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