Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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